gutted...

after leaving the net cafe where i wrote my last post, i wandered the streets of bangalore in search of last minute indian treasures and ayurvedic supplements. i've discovered i really don't like the bigger cities in india and it is in them that my view of my surroundings changes from appreciation of diversity to 'get me the f... out of here'.
finishing my last delicious indian meal, i made my way back to the train station where i had stored my overstuffed backpacks for the day. struggling under the weight and awkwardness of them, i caught a rickshaw to the airport to find a long line up outside the international departures building. this wait gave me chance to do some organizing and i started to deal with the stuff hanging off the packs. i pulled off one sandal and realized the other was no where to be found. ahhhhhh. those sandals had served me well in my three years of travel and i thought it a shame that i hadn't lost both of them at the same time. at least then someone would have had a pair of shoes in a country where there are many that live without any. i walked around with one in my hand for a while before i was ready to give up on it but decided to leave it in a conspicuous spot in case the other turned up somewhere.
while in the security line-up, i met a new zealand man who had also been travelling through india for the past few weeks. we ended up being sat next to each other and proceeded to swap experiences and stories. the time past quickly with the conversation and 20 minutes before the plane was to land, i reached for my carry-on bag to retrieve my camera and show off some climbing photos. no camera. this time, a slight heart sinking feeling. ahhhhhhhh. non-attachment, non-attachment. i remember seeing my camera in my bag before getting in the rickshaw and i only gave my bag up when it passed through security. again, an even larger, in fact, enormous heart-sinking feeling. seeing my camera missing also made me search for my card reader. not there. wracking my brain, i remembered i had last used it to upload some photos in bangalore....which meant it was still there....with the memory card still in it....and all my 300 photos of india. now i'm wanting to cry, badly.
i realize as i'm writing this, i'm being very dramatic with all my .....'s, but its the memeory card i can't seem to let go of. upon realizing my mistake, i've been asking every remotely indian-looking person in bangkok if they are from bangalore or know anyone who lives there. there was one guy from the guesthouse i stayed at who took down all the details of where the net cafe but i'm not feeling to hopeful about that. indians are very kind people, hate to see you upset and will often say whatever they think will make you feel better. i've also been in touch with my mysore contacts, asking them if they know anyone in bangalore or can help.
i'm surprized at how much i've missed having my camera. my relationship with a photographer (ie greg) has given me a whole new appreciation for the way i look at the world and trying to capture those visions with a picture is something i really enjoy. i've made a mental promise that i will do whatever i can to get the card back and when i feel i've done my best, i will let it go.