formerly known as a giraffe

here i am, one week after my return from north america and i'm still feeling out of sorts. monday was my first day back at school with a nice ease into the teaching mode by way of short 30-minute orientations for each class. with a promise for a full class next week when all the students return with textbooks in hand, we did some introductions and bade each other good bye.
i don't so much feel like writing at the moment but do feel like sharing some fun i've been having with the photo booth option on my mac. perhaps they will convey how i'm feeling these days.



this is how i must look to some people here by the way they stare at me


this is how i've been walking around since i returned to korea - with the blinders on

my 'edutainer' face, especially prominent during monday 9 am conversation classes

the face i'm actually making on the inside during the monday 9 am class

vata derranged

3:30 am wake-up call from my mother. 5 am check-in at toronto airport. 3 1/2 hour flight to dallas. 12 1/2 hour flight to tokyo. 3 hour flight to seoul. 4 hour drive to my apartment in gangneung with a 2 hour nap at the side of the road. with no sense of grounding, i've landed back in korea feeling dazed and confused. my survival instincts kicked in reminding me of my priorities- water. standing in the grocery store this morning, wearily and tearily looking around for anything that appealed to me to eat or drink and noticing nothing, my brother's parting words sprang into my thoughts; ' see you in a few years'.

juicedfully 2

juicefully

once again, i'm marvelling at the length of time between my posts. its not like i never think about it and practically every night i formulate some story to share. so why don't i write? and why have my posts dropped off dramatically since last february? a simple thing called truth. blogging my thoughts into the computer means i'm hanging it out there for all to read and those that may read it are probably what i'm going to write about since they the closest to me. but what if what i want to write about hurts them?makes them worry aobut me? what if whats fueling my words is thoughts, feeling, and insights to my relationships? this is where the blockages lie. i can only write what comes from my head and heart. if i don't, it feels trivial like i'm giving my itinerary; 'i did this today, and that yesterday. oh, and i'm going there tomorrow!'. blech. so whats to write about then? how can i let the writing flow expressing what i'm truly thinking while being sensitive to those i may be writing about?
'hmmmmmm', i say, pondering that question while staring out at the new york city skyline. even though the sky is clear and the temperature reasonable for the first time in days, i don't feel motivated to do anything more then tap out some words on the computer. i woke up this morning for the second time in a row having dreamt about being bitten. this first dream involved being bitten repeatedly by a snake with a large head and small body that greg threw at me to scare me playfully. the dream this morning was more chaotic; zombie/vampire-like creatures would bite you and leave their mark on you if they thought you weren't telling the truth. i remember shouting out how i stuff myself with food when i'm feeling lonely, bored, depressed or frustrated, in attempt to 'stuff' all the feelings down, the shame of it bringing me to tears, while a particularily scary- yet-somehow-familiar-faced zombie-man with dark eyes and hair loomed over me. oh, what peculiarities lay deep within my sub-conscious.
i was planning to head off today after spending the past 4 days here attending all the anusara and tantra classes at the fityoga conference and virayoga center. i want to spend more time with family and friends before i fly out on the 22nd but i don't feel like getting in a smoking hot car to do the 10 hour drive. i think i'll go for a run through central park instead. heehee, i laugh to myself, in amazement to where to river of life courses.

ps - the photos above are from a 3-hour funfest i took part in yesterday at virayoga studio with kendal, a yoga teacher from oregon and sharron, a teacher from vira. the pics are sharron giving kendal assists into a pose that i can't remember the name of and sharron demo'ing the full effect. apologies for the sideways views but the comp. is showing the pics a the right way up. strang-gee.