juicedfully 2

juicefully

once again, i'm marvelling at the length of time between my posts. its not like i never think about it and practically every night i formulate some story to share. so why don't i write? and why have my posts dropped off dramatically since last february? a simple thing called truth. blogging my thoughts into the computer means i'm hanging it out there for all to read and those that may read it are probably what i'm going to write about since they the closest to me. but what if what i want to write about hurts them?makes them worry aobut me? what if whats fueling my words is thoughts, feeling, and insights to my relationships? this is where the blockages lie. i can only write what comes from my head and heart. if i don't, it feels trivial like i'm giving my itinerary; 'i did this today, and that yesterday. oh, and i'm going there tomorrow!'. blech. so whats to write about then? how can i let the writing flow expressing what i'm truly thinking while being sensitive to those i may be writing about?
'hmmmmmm', i say, pondering that question while staring out at the new york city skyline. even though the sky is clear and the temperature reasonable for the first time in days, i don't feel motivated to do anything more then tap out some words on the computer. i woke up this morning for the second time in a row having dreamt about being bitten. this first dream involved being bitten repeatedly by a snake with a large head and small body that greg threw at me to scare me playfully. the dream this morning was more chaotic; zombie/vampire-like creatures would bite you and leave their mark on you if they thought you weren't telling the truth. i remember shouting out how i stuff myself with food when i'm feeling lonely, bored, depressed or frustrated, in attempt to 'stuff' all the feelings down, the shame of it bringing me to tears, while a particularily scary- yet-somehow-familiar-faced zombie-man with dark eyes and hair loomed over me. oh, what peculiarities lay deep within my sub-conscious.
i was planning to head off today after spending the past 4 days here attending all the anusara and tantra classes at the fityoga conference and virayoga center. i want to spend more time with family and friends before i fly out on the 22nd but i don't feel like getting in a smoking hot car to do the 10 hour drive. i think i'll go for a run through central park instead. heehee, i laugh to myself, in amazement to where to river of life courses.

ps - the photos above are from a 3-hour funfest i took part in yesterday at virayoga studio with kendal, a yoga teacher from oregon and sharron, a teacher from vira. the pics are sharron giving kendal assists into a pose that i can't remember the name of and sharron demo'ing the full effect. apologies for the sideways views but the comp. is showing the pics a the right way up. strang-gee.

ps....lol

after writing the last post, i was feeling hungry and went downstairs in search of some breakfast. while perusing the selections of cereals my father and pauline (my stepmother) had in their cupboards, i spyed a bag on the floor that looked appealing to me. i picked it up to read the ingredients; 'contains 6 grains plus sunflower seeds'. yum. i pulled out a bowl and poured a healthy dose in when my nose began to wrinkle from the smell. i decided to look at the bag a little more carefully and noticed on the OTHER side the name of the cereal; 'multi-grain wild bird seed'. hahahahahahahahahah. maybe it will help me fly through the yoga workshop.

yogini's have two desserts....

last night, i had the devine pleasure of being in the company of yoga goddesses. i've been in contact several times with lauren, the assistant of the teacher training (t.t) in thailand, knowing that we were following similar routes through america in hopes that we might be able to meet up. thanks to cell phone technology and my mother's gps, we squeezed each other warmly in the parking lot of the hotel she was staying at with her parents in asheville, n.c, an hour and a half from my dad's place. also included in this hug was jessica, a fellow pod member from the t.t who, unbeknowst to me, was also in the area. while making plans with lauren on the phone, she mentioned 'jim and jess were there' but we hadn't established that i too knew this 'jim (jess' b.f) and jess' until an hour before i arrived. as the three of us wrapped our arms around each other, we gazed into each others eyes in amazement that the world brought us together once again. after some quick introductions, we piled back into the cars and headed downtown. this was my first trip to asheville and i fell in love instantly. it seemed as though every car had a roof rack sporting some piece of sports gear and the preferred fashion was chaco's and great hair. we went to a happening restaurant called the 'laughing seed', across the street from a climbing shop (called 'climb-max' - luv it!) complete with an outdoor wall (falling further....:), and found of ourselves in the midst of a hip crowd thoroughly enjoying the vegetarian fare. after dinner, the three yogini's went on to a coffee shop where we continued to swap stories, ideas and yoga poses.
i'm off to columbia tomorrow to take part in desiree rumbaugh's workshop this week-end. the first block is three-hour session called 'eye of the tiger'. this is my first time in this type of class which i've heard is an advanced bunch of yogi's getting together to have one, big practice where someone will call out poses but not instructions. wish i could take photos :)

living in macro land

what? new photos? yes, that can only mean i gratefully have a new camera in hand and will be running around south carolina taking photos of everything and anything. oh happy, happy jennifer :)

.....there is only love

'nothing else in this world matters except for love. we must feel love so we can receive it and be generously giving it to others. money, cars, materials stuff, they are not important as there is only love....'. the wisewords from my 92-year old grandmother, catherine van der park. i spent the afternoon with her yesterday in her brampton,ont. apartment. over the past few years, every time i've stopped by her place, she's been out, and i was anxious to spend some time with her this trip. i was in awe of her as she fussed around me, making me some tea and sandwhiches, using her sense of touch as guidance as the cataracs that cover her eyes have stolen almost all of her sight. once satisfied that she had provided me with what i needed, she sat on her 45-year old sofa (looks immaculate but she claims she's going to go through it one day) and stared long and hard at me, apppraising my every detail.'you look tired, yennifer. do you need to sleep?' i managed to dodge the question for the next hour by inquiring about her instead. as i knelt by her feet sitting on floor, i listened to her tell stories about her mother and father back in holland, my grandfathers opinion on alcohol and what life was like for her when she got married at 28. while she spoke, i felt this enormous desire to know everything about her, feeling that this will help in my own spiritual quest to know myself, and i have much to learn from her. eventually she did coax me into have a nap and i fell asleep contently listening to the clack of her knitting needles while she created another warm winter toque for underpriviledge folk. 'what could i do to liveup to the inspiration i felt from her?', i mused while dozing. well, there is only love.....